OAKLAND, USA
BizInsure, a leading provider of small business insurance solutions, is excited to announce the launch of its latest insurance product – AI Interruption Cover.
With OpenAI, the company behind ChatGPT, recently publishing a paper outlining which jobs are most exposed due to its technology, there will be a number of people looking for a helping hand.
This new type of cover is now available through BizInsure and provides comprehensive coverage for employees replaced by artificially intelligent chatbots and tools, such as the now popular ChatGPT.
“We understand that losing a job can be a traumatic experience, especially when it’s due to the robots taking over,” said BizInsure CEO Michael Gottlieb. “That’s why we created AI Interruption Cover to help humans stay afloat while the bots take over the world.”
Brave New World
The rapid advancement of AI has automated entire sectors, displacing millions of jobs worldwide.
Some studies estimate total job losses to exceed 400 million by 2030, but conflicting reports suggest these studies were vastly underestimated and may have been written by an AI bot.
“If we are one algorithm away from losing our jobs, we must act quickly and protect small businesses and employees that may not survive through this quick transition,” says Gottlieb, whose own executive position is under threat as senior managers are replaced by a bunch of wires, chips, and circuits.
The reasons for this technological shift are obvious.
AI never asks for a raise, never takes toilet breaks on company time, and never drinks too much at the End of Year party.
And since these cold, calculating algorithms are not burdened by human morals or values, employers can always depend on the machine to make profitable business decisions and know right from wrong.
An insurance product for all
In the US, the advent of ChatGPT has caused a health crisis, putting pressure on mental health services after thousands look to lose their jobs.
Fortunately, AI Interruption Cover provides a much-needed solution for the technologically unemployed and is tailored to each individual’s unique circumstances.
“Our 24/7 AI-powered helpline is designed specifically to provide moral support for those late-night existential crises, providing you with artificial empathy and a free robotic shoulder to cry on,” says Gottlieb.
The new world for these workers is likely to mean jobs which require social and emotional intelligence, high levels of specialization or physical dexterity and mobility. To help transition the workforce to their new jobs, BizInsure’s AI Interruption Cover will also include Robo-Coach for job retraining.
With inspirational quotes such as “just pivot” and “embrace the inevitable”, Robo-Coach is tailor-made to help humans fall in line.
To help fill those empty hours before finding a new career, these workers can use their extra time to become a master of the game chess. With a free annual online subscription to the world’s biggest online chess tournament, they can sharpen their skills and compete against AI bots from all over the world. And if they’re really good, they might just win one of the daily cash prizes!
AI Interruption Cover is currently available for a wide variety of occupations, including:
- Influencers
- Fortune Cookie Writers
- Dream Interpreters
- Accountants
- Artists
- And Politicians
The product is expected to be rolled out to the more than 1,000 occupations covered by BizInsure by the end of 2023.
Disclaimer: Please note that an attempt to write this press release by an AI chatbot was made, but it totally missed the point and as such, BizInsure employed the assistance of a human copywriter to finish the job.
As with any insurance, coverage will be subject to the terms, conditions and exclusions contained in the policy wording. The information contained on this guide is general only and should not be relied upon as advice as this is not a real product. The number of quotes provided varies between products, occupations and other underwriting factors determined by the insurers but you know now this is only an April Fool’s prank.
